I hope to never join a crowd.
I also hope to never let myself get the best of my better self.
Never outwordly attend to the political, for that is, I am sure of it, my Achilles.
Phil and psych are my strengths.
For whatever reason, I guess for my lack of ability to spot, nor want to play the game, of debating in politics, I find myself truly lost, strategically, in the conversation.
Everyone, outside of the political, always ends with a great realization, either about myself, others, or the world we live in.
However, when it comes to the political, it seems that I’m “just not built for it”.
I come across brutish and I never feel as though I have expressed myself well enough and always find myself revisiting the converation in my mind after its conclusion.
The concept though is interesting. How, even though I feel as though, in the political, I bring the same level of emotion as I do in every conversation, perhaps by nature of the conversation itself, or the passion in which others bring to it, I am lost in the sea of emotionality and irrationality when others find themselves there. I don’t handle irrationality well and end up digging the hole deeper for myself, trying to engage, till it seems completly lost, as opposed to reminding myself that I know these conversations aren’t for me and moving away from them, as I have the ability to do, and do well.
It is also interesting, that even though I have made the effort, since the beginning of the year, to move away from the hyper-polarized political/news climate that we find the world in towards a deeper understanding of philosophy and psychology, that certain conversations, luckily a smaller and smaller window of them, I still find myself drawn to. Unfortunetly for me, based on my current method of avoiding the news till it becomes so large that it finds me, I tend to become aware of the news right at it’s most polarizing. Therefore the strategy fails at perciecly the time the conversations are most likely to experience turbulence.
I have luckily found a few, similarly minded people, perhaps not with the same extracurricular interest, but with an interest nonetheless in staying out of the socio-political fray. Occasionally, one can also discover someone, still deep in politics, but with a serious enough attitude towards the issue, not just with an “addiction towards conviction”, that will be willing to have a more historical, causality related conversation, that, as long as neither of you are prone to getting emotional, can go exceedingly well and scratch that residual political itch.
In general though, I hope to gain further strength in moving away from exposing those views outside of my own head and instead expressing the parts of myself that truly matter, that I engage with often, and that seem to bring joy to myself and others rather than the topics of engagement that may arise coarsened discourse and allow relationships to be irrecably altered for an issue that won’t really matter to either of us much in six monthss