Imposter Thoughts

I had just thought of this today, but, maybe if you feel as though you have “imposter syndrome” perhaps you are one.
Don’t misunderstand, that is not to be a slanderous thing. I, however, was just thinking that perhaps the feelings of inadequacy, and that one does not belong, are perhaps signs, instead of hurdles. Perhaps you are truly not meant for the path you have been putting yourself upon. Maybe ones apptitude lies in a different place.
The problem starts when one forces themselves into something, they make the problem of it not fitting themselves into a problem. However, what if it doesnt have to be a problem? What if the thing you’re trying to do isn’t for you, and that was. . .ok?
The world has been created to be upon such a track, that if someone doesn’t fit into the first allotted career goal, they are worried of the casade of future issues that that would cause themself. Many are taught that an undergraduate degree is A) their ticket to success and B) the decision that dictates the rest of their life/career path. When one does not feel completely fullfilled in a situation that had been inculcated into them from a young age as the end goal/thing that will solve lifes problem, the least suprising thing to happen would be a schism/feeling of incongruence.
That feeling, however, is one to be examed instead of stuffed down and ignored. There is always a chance it is irrational, that one is truly meant for their career choice, that they may just truly care; that they feel and live in the pressure of doing something one enjoys and wanting to do it to the best of ones abilities. However, there is a possibility that being cajoled into a life decision early has taken an adverse turn, or that it is generally time for a rexamination and shift in ‘lifes journey’.

It’s hard to admit we have a problem

Lots of them. With ourselves, with our inclinations, with the habits and coping mechanisms we have learned. Though things may feel to be working as we do them, all we need to do is search for the faults hidden or not so hidden to enlighten us to the ways in which we deal with the world around us. We imbibe, we deflect, we avoid, we tell ourselves our way is ok. There may be the occasional noticing that there are incongruences in the way in which we think we feel, and the way in which our actions in normal, regular (for us) moments, truly make us feel. What they truly say about the way we feel about ourselves and others.   
   As humans, we can only know ourselves, how we feel, the ways in which we take in our impressions and manifest them into the world through our actions. We can’t know, unless we ask, and ask in the correct way, the true impact in all of the specific things we do. These two ways in which we navigate the world, our self knowledge through our being, and through inquisition into outside persepctives, are the ways in which we may get some handle upon the ways in which we are percieved. However, we often neglect both of these sources of information for fear of the answer, or a myriad of other reasons.
    Many allow themselves to deny the difficult work of the self examination neccesary to become the person they want to be in this truly complex and challenging world. It is much easier to become someone that is ‘always right’ and ‘knows what theyre doing’. Yet, in that mindset, many miss the ways in which to resolve, or even identify, deep-seated issues.


Underground tube
Leaving towards the light or darkness
Given with the world upon it
We find our spirit
Our youth and finality
Our indignity and our prosperity
The encounters
Only to escape into the world
For an inevitable return

Living free

There is much to wonder about the ways in which we may pan out. Many times we do not even begin to be aware of where to begin. There is trouble. A realization that, perhaps, our external impressions may be just that, that we are as small as we sometimes believe, and that the world is not made for us, but by us. These thoughts lead logically to the worrying thought, if one bothers to sift through thoughts of boundless directions of possibilities presented to us in our age – that at the end of the day, we are individual, and have to take on our lives ourselves.
   The idea may seem simple at first, perhaps even obvious, but if one going into the idea the existential will follow. We can only live our own life. The permutation of impressions given to us by the external world are our own. Try as we might to be anything else, take on a role, be the savior of a different age, we are simply ourselves. Therefore, as much as we hope and wish and want to be them, we will never be. The goal is infeasible, and to live your life as an actor, playing the roll of one the real deal, but truly just acting, is no way to be in the world, or to yourself.
    The trouble is the complexity of the mental/physical world in which we all inhabit. It’s not just daunting, its mind melting if you spend too long staring into the sun of myriad possibilities. You can not become everything. Yet, if one allows it to be, the possibility to explore all of those possibilities can be who you are, in the now, as yourself.
    To realize you may be taking a completely new journey of the world, forging the path oneself, can be as rewarding as it is frightening. To realize that, though you cannot live the life of someone else, no-one can live yours either, gives some flavor to ones interpretation of what this whole ‘life thing’ means. The friends you have, the love, the interpersonal relationships shared with the people who know you are unique. The time you share with others is a personal and fleeting experience. No-one can take that from you, and no-one can become you.
    To talk of possibilities, is a frightening thing, because it is pretty open. You can move to a different city tomorrow and start a new life, there is always the choice with small means. If one does not feel as though they can make drastic changes, I would be curious to ask: “what’s holding you back?” I would suspect that the reason is not the thing truly not tying you to any situation, but that it is your understanding of that situation and awareness or lack thereof of the vast options, not all, or even most, auspicious, but options nonetheless. Not to say that there arent truly restrictions on some in certain areas/situations, but it is to say that one posseses more freedom of choice, individuality, and uniqueness then is often considered